When was the last time you woke up and paid attention to the sheer wonder and beauty found in a morning sunrise? It’s that time of day when the whole universe opens her eyes and smiles upon us in pure light.
For the past 8+ weeks I have been dealing with yet another digestive nightmare. I’ve been through this once before and somehow managed to turn it around, but it caught me off guard when it reared its ugly head and struck me down again. It attacks without mercy and brutally punishes every slip up and simple mistake. I’ll save you all the details, but I can assure you this has not been an easy fight. When I went through this the last time, it was due to the stress created by an emotionally abusive situation coupled with blatant gaslighting and this time the initial trigger was also stress. It is truly frightening what uncontrolled anxiety can do to us both mentally and physically. Weight is flying off of me again and I’m finding it difficult to stay properly hydrated. There are some new issues this go around, but I’m working through them.
There have been days recently where I wanted to throw in the towel and give up. There have been mornings where I didn’t understand why I even woke up and there have even been instances where I just wanted to end it all. It’s not easy to admit that, but I’ve recently learned that the darkest corners of our minds can harbor some very difficult thoughts. Stress compounds on itself and when health and financial strain enter the picture, it's easy to start spiraling downwards. Yesterday was one of the most challenging days I’ve had, but two different things really stood out.
First, I was able to properly hydrate. Second, and for the first time in 6 weeks, I felt genuine satisfaction after one of my meals. It’s that feeling you get when you chose just the right amount and your body is thankful for the needed nutrition. I’m still holding on to the warmth I felt in my abdomen and the small smile that appeared on my face. It may seem trivial, or normal, or something that is usually taken for granted, but for me it was a really big deal.
I truly believe we have to learn to celebrate even the smallest of victories. These small victories provide us with a sense of hope and sometimes hope is all we have. We have to hold onto it, embrace it and use it as the primary catalyst to propel us forward into a better state of being. We have to fight with every last bit in us and trust that things will turn back around so that we may experience the life we desire and deserve.
And, don’t forget about the little things. There is beauty all around us; pay attention to it. Let the wonder found in that same morning sunrise bring you the warmth you need and let it distract you from the stress and upset you are under. Doing so isn’t a way to hide away from your problems, but rather a way to allow a bit of joy to enter your soul. Happiness, joy, or any period where you can get outside the confines of your mind and back into the moment will be healing by nature. Happiness is health and there is happiness waiting for you too so long as you simply let it in and trust it. So far today has been a much better day and I'm truly grateful for it.
If you are going through a challenging time and are unsure what the future holds for you, please feel free to reach out. I would be more than happy to see what is in store for you and provide you with insight to ensure a peaceful future.