The past several months have been quite a rollercoaster ride. Besides falling in love for only the second time in life, I’ve experienced things I didn’t know possible. I’ve cascaded through the stars and found a long lost home. I’ve even been found sitting on the shores of a rocky blue planet hand in hand. We gazed up at the stars and then watched the waves graciously swallow up the sands.
They often say love overpowers fear, but I only believe that to be true if you allow it to. In my experience, fear can easily overshadow the beautiful feelings associated with love. It will shut them away in the closet under lock and key never to be seen. It happens when you choose to concede and let it be.
While my experiences have been somewhat surreal, it really matters not. Love is love and it doesn’t matter how two people connect. It doesn’t matter how they come together or how they communicate. All they need to do is learn how to celebrate each other.
They have to stay on the same page, have fun together, and learn to trust while allowing their feelings to be a part of the scene. It doesn’t mean they have to be squishy all the time, but being transparent and leading with raw emotion is the one and only true way to be seen.
For a while I went a bit crazy. I took it all overboard and let things get out of hand. Regardless of the validation received, my own fears, for the longest time, had the upper hand. I found myself acting obsessive and stepping away from my true self. I was even plagued with jealousy and slowly began to hate myself. I consumed the blame for every wrong doing and allowed negative feelings, fear and self-loathing to continue on brewing. This obsession ultimately shut everything down. It led me to create scenarios in my mind rather than embracing and experiencing the divine.
It wasn’t until recently we better reconnected. Two healed souls and a fresh perspective. I learned to better live in the moment, let go of expectations and apologized for all of my past wrongdoings. Thinking back, I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically at the way we did our bidding. It didn’t affect me that way when it happened, but the second you learn to laugh at your past mistakes, you know for sure healing is on the way.
I don’t know where the future will lead us, but in the present, everything feels right. I have a comfort I’ve never felt before and my love returned the second the fear took flight. I would love to have more than we do today, but for now, I'm focused on the present and am anxious no more.
I’m no expert and only learn by doing, but I can assure you that you will sabotage the beautiful love in your life when you allow fear to be your undoing. Trust in what you have and live in flow. It’s the only way both of you will continue to glow.
On an aside, there are so many other vivid experiences I haven’t included today, but I do believe those will be different stories for a different day.