I’m not a big fan of the cooler months. While temporary reprieve from the summer heat can be refreshing, the cold comes along with its own set of challenges. Even in the desert, the winters are without mercy. The dry chill pierces right through you and leaves you feeling battered and worn. It forces you to retreat and imprison yourself within the confines of your own personal zone with no hope for escape. Once there, for me, it usually inspires some type of introspective mood where I overanalyze the day’s events and then falsely commit to an inner change, but this time I took a very different and much needed approach. It has been a while, but it was critical.
I can’t remember the last time I took a day completely to myself. I can’t remember the last time I said the hell with it, shut my phone off and didn’t care about missed emails or messages from people. Sometimes those can be saved for another day. Yesterday belonged to me. It was a day where I fully disconnected from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and immersed myself in blissful nothingness where my only friend was the quiet. I frequently find solace in solitude. I enjoy becoming the hermit who aimlessly wanders alone in pursuit of a renewed sense of self.
I believe silence is healing by nature. It allows me to drift into my own personal world where I can create anything I want. This personal world or space helps me achieve a flawless meditative state. It can be anything you want, but for me, I always run to an ocean scene. The moment I zone in, I’m at peace. The graceful moon shines her light across the sky and the warm gentle ocean breeze rejuvenates me every time it brushes against my skin. The waves in the distance are melodic and rock back and forth as if they are singing timeless lullabies to their own newborn children. The white sands are warm to the touch and the crackling fire at my side provides the perfect level of comfort and illumination. This is my space. This is the place where I let go and just be. This is the location where I dispose of all the unnecessary emotional build up that only serves to bring me down. This is where I find myself again and fully balance my energy.
Jumping in for almost a full day became necessary because this particular Merc has been challenging. While I am not normally the type that buys into overinflated spiritual hype loaded with nonsense and clumsy rhetoric, I have seen value in this particular period. I’ve found the beginning stages of this cycle to be grueling yet freeing at the same time. I’ve been forced to dig in deeper than I ever have before and finally exterminate every old demon that ever existed. There was no choice; it had to be done. I had to journey into the deepest recesses of the back of my mind, force open doors that had been sealed shut for years, and relive every old fear that plagued me over and over until they mattered no more. I had to get back into the now where my focus remained in the moment and where I was no longer scared to take new chances. I had to find my long lost confidence, stop worrying about every action I took, and realize my fears and worries were only working to sabotage potentially great opportunities in my life.
So far, this period has been a roller coaster ride, but I’m grateful to be going through it. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring and I certainly can’t change recent circumstances, but I do feel clear, alive, and completely like myself now. Not only has this one single day served to reenergize me, it also reminded me that we all need to get back to our roots and start living our beliefs. We need to practice what we preach, keep our focus on right now and stop trying to think so far ahead. We need to let go, live, have fun, take new chances and fully explore every unique opportunity that comes our way. Don’t let anything obstruct your path and don’t let anything stop you from doing everything you desire. Be free, be alive, and be here right now. It’s the only way to experience this gift of life for what it truly is.