Set The Fear Aside

“She woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by"
- Incubus

Have you ever missed an opportunity because you were scared to take a chance? Have you ever felt regret later on because you realized that it may now to be too late? I can’t count the number of times I have done this exact same thing. I know what it is like to be paralyzed by fear and feel unable to take a single step forward. It has been a lifelong problem for me.

Sadly, this topic is being resurfaced today due to some news I heard yesterday. All my life I have struggled with confidence and insecurity. While most wouldn’t ever know this based on my exterior personality, I know for fact that I hold back entirely too much. I have a tendency to wait for what I believe to be the perfect time to take action. I tend to look for cues to know it’s safe to deep dive into something new or communicate exactly what I’m feeling. But after yesterday, I realized that life is indeed too short for this type of behavior especially when it comes to other significant connections in our life.

Have you ever run across someone that you felt an instant and intense connection with? It happens immediately. It’s the type of connection where it’s almost as if we have known them for a better part of our life even though we have barely communicated.  They affect us at the soul level and we are flooded with intense emotion even before the first word is spoken. To put it simply, we just know there is something there. But, too often, we set our feelings aside, talk ourselves out of the idea that there could ever be anything due to our own fears and then sit around and wait for a sign that it’s okay to proceed forward. Even when we get those signs, we will often deceive ourselves into believing that it wasn’t really anything and then wait some more. After a period of time, the chance is lost, the idea of what could have been is forgotten and we are faced with nothing but regret for our own levels of inaction. It’s a vicious cycle and it will repeat unless an immediate change is made.

I’m feeling that regret today. I’m upset with myself for not openly sharing or being honest about things.  My emotions are low and I strongly believe I squandered away this opportunity due to the same deeply rooted fears I have yet to move past. I can live with rejection, but I struggle at the idea of losing an important connection in my life totally. I’ve led myself to believe that sharing what I felt would have led to a complete disruption in the connection and would have ruined it for good. But, I don’t know if any of that is true. I don’t know what would have happened. Looking at it now, I realize that my thoughts are nothing but a manifestation of my own fears.  I have no idea if it would have been dismissed or if something could have flourished and grown. People that do what I do for a living are great at picking up on the circumstances and energy of other people’s situations, but when it comes to our own life, we are often in the dark.

What I do know is that life is short. After going through a period of intense health issues and a period where I truly questioned my own mortality, I’ve realized today that fear absolutely needs to be set aside even when it comes to matters of the heart. We can’t spend all of our time being afraid to take a chance. We can’t sit idle in the dark and wait for some ideal opportunity. We have trust what we are feeling, take new chances, and learn to live life to the fullest. It’s evident that things won’t always work out to our liking, but at least we will know we tried. We will know we made our souls visible by throwing ourselves out there and we will know exactly where we stand when we do. Spending all of our time standing on a precipice frozen in fear will not get us to where we want to be. Wasting time by keeping our feelings hidden will not help to bring us what we want into our life. Instead, we will be plagued with sorrow and remorse which will do nothing but make us feel even worse and make it more difficult to take a chance when the next opportunity presents itself.

I’m going to make some pretty substantial changes starting today and if you have experienced similar challenges, I encourage you to do the same. When a new opportunity comes your way, see what it is all about. When a new connection enters your life, don’t be afraid to pursue it and see what develops. There isn’t enough time in our life to hold back. There is no reason to feel haunted by your own fears and insecurities regardless of your past. Be who you are and share what you feel. You are here for a reason and you will experience success and love when you set your irrational worries to the side and start openly living.  Take a stand, put your foot down and tell yourself enough is enough. If you don’t, you may also wake up one day and realize you are allowing your whole life to pass you by.

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